Me. SlowlyDying.

My friend broke up with his girlfriend today which is the girl i like. I feel so bad for her. How do...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:20:18 -0400

My friend broke up with his girlfriend today which is the girl i like. I feel so bad for her. How do you treat someone badly then break up with them. Its so sad. She kept telling him “you cant do this” “you cant leave me” “i love you” im really not sure if this is for the best. She’s been in bed all day crying. On one side i sort of feel like well…im here?? I mean i like you. i feel like we would be good together, forget him. On the other hand..thats wrong and she’s obviously hurting. Hurting a lot.I went upstairs because it sounded like she was choking. She’d thrown up all over her pillow. I threw the pillow in the washer and changed her sheets. She apologized then laid right back down. I asked her if she wanted dinner and she asked me to leave her alone. So i did.

I’ll never understand. You go through so much abuse but you still love them so much. How? I just feel bad for her. She told me she’s lost everything. I wonder what that must feel like.

You brought flowers for that girl you like? That was so sweet.

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:13:14 -0400

Yeah. She’s really upset by this. She’s been crying all day so i thought itd be nice.

Show your tummy please :D

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:10:39 -0400

haha i will

Who were the flowers for?

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:10:12 -0400

My friend..her boyfriend broke up with her :/

Got some color!!! :D My stomach will be two shades darker by...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:10:00 -0400

Got some color!!! :D

My stomach will be two shades darker by june. This will be reality.

You seem to be tanning a little. Not much but alittle

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:07:57 -0400

Im trying so hard to get color

The veins in my arm are so gross

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:01:43 -0400

The veins in my arm are so gross

Going to bed now

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:40:46 -0400

Going to bed now

So my friend ran away almost an entire week ago and she’s back now..sort of. This is not...

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:30:40 -0400

So my friend ran away almost an entire week ago and she’s back now..sort of. This is not running away like how children do..this is like serious shit. She really RAN away. She left her car and everything. Why? She was heartbroken :( Im gonna place my man car faced down for a moment and admit i cried. It wasnt like just a tear rolling down one cheek or whatever it was like a full on ugly need a tissue sob. This was today, when she came back. When she came inside she just went to the room she sleeps in, closed the door and started screaming. They were like frustration screams that later led to tears which led to her falling asleep. I went downstairs and felt so much emotion i couldnt help it. She reminded me so much of my mom in that instant. My dad would toss her into the sink or toss a chair at her and when he was tired from that he’d just leave. Then my mom would cover whatever injury she had so we couldnt see it and quickly rush off to her room. There she’d scream and cry and just fall asleep from exhaustion. Id sneak up later on at night and put her in bed. It was sad because my mom really loved my dad but he treated her so badly when she did nothing wrong and its the same situation here. But the person doing the mistreating is my bestfriend. Im so sad for her because when she came back she told me she came back because it was the right thing to do. She said her boyfriend didnt love her anymore and it was the worst feeling in the world and she just didnt know what to do. She really really seemed hurt by this. I knew she loved him but i guess i under estimated how much she really truly did. For her to be so distraught like this.

Now she’s still sleeping and will probably sleep late into the morning. Im not entirely sure what to do when she wakes up.

This looks so perfect. I didnt want to eat it…but i...

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:19:00 -0400

This looks so perfect. I didnt want to eat it…but i did…:]

You never told what happened with your friend :/

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:58:36 -0400

Im about to in a few

You seem to be gaining weight. Been working out?

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:58:10 -0400

Not really..just running more than usual.

Dude you threw up in your bushes

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:55:59 -0400

Stalk me much O.o

Where'd you go the other night? You seemed pretty drunk.

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:55:18 -0400

How do you know i was drunk??? I mean yeah i went out and drank but ..

Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes.

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:28:23 -0400

Well i called my friends Recruiter today. He may hate me for the rest of his life but i had to....

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 00:49:31 -0400

Well i called my friends Recruiter today. He may hate me for the rest of his life but i had to. He’s in the army and his recruiter kind of controls his life right now. I called and told him that he wasnt doing well at school and wasnt doing well at home so now he has to go to base for a week to “straighten up” For those who arent familiar with military procedures: When you fuck up your recruiter is in charge of reprimanding you and making sure you dont fuck up again. If a recruiter has to come all the way from base to get you he usually isnt very happy. This only happened to me once and neeeeeever again. You have to sit through behavior classes and sign papers a such saying you’ll do better and wont make your branch look bad again. But that only occurs over 2 days. The other 5 days consists of whatever physical punishment they decide to give you. Mines was having to sit in a room that was 98 degrees for 4 hours with 6oz of water. I thought itd be easy but it was terrible. I also had to do other time consuming laboring tasks like clean and organize all 60 trailers on base. All in all the week sucked and i couldnt wait to get home. Since i called my friends recruiter he’s probably going through this right now. It may not change him one bit..it may actually make things worse but he’s away from my friend for a week which gives me a week to either convince her to leave him for the time being or tell someone whats happened to her and that she needs help.

Why did i suddenly do this? My friend came to my house today and rushed to the bathroom saying she had to throw up. After a few minutes i went to check on her. She was sitting by the toilet with alcohol and a bag. I asked her what she was doing and she asked me to help her. She told me to close my eyes and hold her left breast for her. Okay..this sounds so weird and awkward but this is how our relationship is. She seemed like she was in pain so i opened my eyes. Not to be perverted or anything but i wanted to know what she was doing. She was cleaning what looked like really fresh cuts. It didnt take m long to figure out that the cuts were in the shapes of a T and a C. I had an idea but i thought no way. I asked her “Did he cut his initials into your rib cage? She nodded and told me “he wanted to make sure i was branded as his property. I dont heal fast Angel so the scar will b here a long time” In my mind iw as thinking “holy shit he’s a psycho” but i just told her cocoa butter everyday will help it heal and faster. I wanted to leave her to her privacy so i started to leave but my clumsy self tripped over her bag. And out came 3 pregnancy tests. I picked them up and handed them to her. I asked her why she had them and she said because she needed to check. I then asked her whose it would be and she told me her boyfriends. So then my mind got to working and i asked her “dont you use condoms?” She’s told me she doesnt want anymore pregnancy scares so she was being very careful. I couldnt see her willingly just deciding not to anymore. She told me “He tells me i wont get pregnant and we dont need them. I need to get over it. He stopped using them when i stopped having sex with him. I feel like its his way of getting revenge” After she told me that i called. So not only are you raping your girlfriend you are raping her without any kind of protection. So what happens when cancer girl gets pregnant, is it her fault again? Im so not okay with this. I really would rather him just get locked up at the moment but i always remind myself that he’s my friend and i know whats he’s been through and is going through. This really really is not him. But if he doesnt come back..i feel like i’ll have no other option.

Since none of you besides my personal friends know about this situatioon entirely i think im okay with posting it here

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 01:04:45 -0400

Ive got to get this off my mind somehow..

My friends been having issues with her boyfriend forever now and it just sucks that her boyfriend is my bes tfriend. So i have to listen to both ends of everyone’s stories and put them together with what ive seen and try my best to help. With this issue..im at a loss of what to do.

So some background info. My best friends been dating this girl for about 4 years now. when they first started dating all of his friends me included felt like it wouldnt last past 2 or 3 months since she’d made it clear that she wasnt gonna put out. Back then we were like 17 so havign a girlfriend that didnt put out was unheard of. She didnt come outright and say it but everyone could tell. Eventually he asked her if she was a virgin and she told him yes with this extremely huge smile like it was something to be proud of. I mean it is but that was obviously not the answer he was looking for. So fast forward about a year and some change, a lot had happened in their relationship that had made them grow way closer. She started developing a few issues do to past experiences and became very attatched to him. By then we were 19 and she was 18. I remember i was out for a run when i got a text. I stopped running to read it and all it said was “Nailed that shit” I never laughed so hard in my life. Reason being i was imagining the look on his face. His look of satisfaction is priceless. He had now made my run awkward and i didnt know what to say so i just text back “Way to go?” and that was the end of that.

Fast forward a few months, by now me and my friends relationship was on a level where she felt she could contact me about anything. Anything and everyyything. Every now and then she’d ask to come over to talk to me and ask me about things that i really really really could have lived without hearing. I see these two people everyday,i just didnt want to imagine anything she was telling me. Then she’d ask me about my experiences which just made me so uncomfortable. So id tell her to go and ask out friend Melissa. She;d be a much better help.

Fast forward almost another year. Their relationship is now hmm not exactly shit yet but getting there. But this is all due to other circumstances. So much went into making this happen. Every other day im getting phone calls from my best friend talking about how frustrated he is with her and his relationship and how stressed he is and how her not putting out isnt helping and ive had to be the voice or reason in his ear letting him know she was a good girl for him and things would get better and to be more understanding and patient.

Now present time.Their relationship is at the worst its ever been and after all of this time i feel like its enough. I dont know how to tell either of them my opinion though. He’ll be mad as shit b/c he would think i say this b/c im trying to get his girl and id just confuse her. Heres why i say so. In the past few weeks my friend has been a complete dickhead to her. She’s sick and needs any kind of support she can get. He has stopped going to therapy because he says he doesnt feel like it. He isnt taking any classes about how to deal with a spouse with a disease like he was before. He’s just stopped trying and its not fair to her to suffer and keep suffering. I wouldnt say it if i didnt see it everyday. Im afraid my friend has changed and until he decides to get his shit together, he doesnt need to be with her. Recently she’s told me she’s worried about his aggression. I understand what she means. I’ve noticed in everyday activities how aggressive he’s become. She’s told me he’s very pushy and demanding and it makes her nervous sometimes. Ive always told her that if she feels unsafe to just leave and come to my house. Well today she calls me crying and asks if she can stay with me. I told her yes and asked what was wrong. She said she couldnt tell me aloud because i probably wouldnt understand so she was gonna text me. This is what her text said

“Im not trying to be picky or cause issues. Please dont be upset either, it was my fault. I dont think i can stay at Timmys house anymore until he gets some type of help. We were laying in bed and i was about to fall asleep but Timmy didnt want to go to sleep. You know how you guys make it clear that you want to do something, well he was doing that and something in my mind told me if i dont let it happen he was going to get really pissed off. So i didnt resist like i usually do. He sat up and looked at me and asked me “are we doing this for real or what. Dont decided super late that you dont want to.” I was scared to say no at this point so i just nodded. I know you know i just had surgery and all but i thought this should be okay. So i was so wrong. I was in so much pain angel. So much pain i was crying. You know what he told me. “shut up, youre annoying” I was feelign so much deja vu. I cried to him i couldnt anymore and he told me ” stop crying or i’ll give you something to cry about.” I dont know where it came from but i started having like a serious panic attack and started screaming. Please dont be upset while reading this. I’ll explain more when i get to your house..But anyways, he hit me across my face so hard i was dizzy and there was blood on my pillow. I think he hit me with the back of his hand so his knuckles hit my jaw. I was awake but i spaced out. when i got back to normal he was sitting on his side of the bed casually texting on his phone. I was so upset. I covered myslf fully with the blankets and sat up.He looked at me and said ” Go wash the blood off your face and get a new pillowcase.” I feel so violated and just i dont know..the feeling is indescribable. I love him but he needs help. angel you know this isnt him. But if he never gets help, i need help moving on. I need someone who will respect me and not do these things..after all thats happened. When i came from the bathroom he was laying down and i had bag in my hand. He asked where i was running away to. I told him i was leaving. You know what he said ” Fine, take the pillowcase with you, you got your blood all over it, you should wash it.” and rolled over. I was limping to get it and he hit me in my left hip and told me to “walk fucking normal, i wasnt that hurt” I cant deal. angel i cannot deal. I feel another panic attack coming and i cant deal. He’s the only one i can see just about everyday and he knows it. Is that why he’s treating me like this? Because he knows i need him? Because he knows im so lonely that i’ll probably be back at his house tomorrow? But yeah..thats it..im coming in a few. Please leave the door unlocked..”

Now..i understand my friend has issues but this is fucking unacceptable. My friend has been raped before and i dont think any man will ever understand how that feels and i really dont want to. But to have a male you trust, your boyfriend no less do just about the same thing. That must hurt a fucking lot. She;s upstairs in my room sleep now and i see where he hit her. I hope no bruise forms on her face..But he has seriously gone too far. I dont want her around him. Id never want to gt my friend in trouble but for hr safety i feel like i should do whatever is in my ability to keep him from her in this situation. Im really very very upset by this but im able to control my emotions a lot better now. I just wish maybe one or two days out of the week she could stay with someone else so she didnt have to run to him. This is really upsetting me but im glad i got this out.

Since im doing no work this is whats been happening in my life :D My friend i likes been going...

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:25:26 -0500

Since im doing no work this is whats been happening in my life :D

My friend i likes been going through surgery and stuff and ive been trying to be there for her as much as possible but sadly ive been there more than her boyfriend. She was extremely hurt by this leaving me to go the extra mile to be there for her even more. He hasn’t been seeing her in the hospital, calling her, or anthing. She just had a really major surgery and she’s heard nothing from him. She’s cried a lot and its hard for me to see her cry so i just leave..awkwardly.

Lets see umm my brother is well and healthy. Thanks everyone who prayed. But ive had to run all over the freaking world to get him to doctors appointments on time. Umm my mother is doing well and may be able to come home late march.

School and work are killing me dead. I finally was able to get more hours but its killing me. My school work is stacked so high i need a ladder to reach the top.

My body still really hurts sometimes from that accident me and my grandpa got into but i’ll live. I havnt really been able to just sit and rest for a few days and my body feels slightly work out. Can wait until sunday. when i can sleep allll day.

Your lips are so sexy _

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:13:03 -0500

thanksss?

Dont even ask..boredom strikes.

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:11:35 -0500

Dont even ask..boredom strikes.

Me. SlowlyDying.

My friend broke up with his girlfriend today which is the girl i like. I feel so bad for her. How do...

You brought flowers for that girl you like? That was so sweet.

Show your tummy please :D

Who were the flowers for?

Got some color!!! :D My stomach will be two shades darker by...

You seem to be tanning a little. Not much but alittle

The veins in my arm are so gross

Going to bed now

So my friend ran away almost an entire week ago and she’s back now..sort of. This is not...

This looks so perfect. I didnt want to eat it…but i...

You never told what happened with your friend :/

You seem to be gaining weight. Been working out?

Dude you threw up in your bushes

Where'd you go the other night? You seemed pretty drunk.

Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes.

Well i called my friends Recruiter today. He may hate me for the rest of his life but i had to....

Since none of you besides my personal friends know about this situatioon entirely i think im okay with posting it here

Since im doing no work this is whats been happening in my life :D My friend i likes been going...

Your lips are so sexy *_*

Dont even ask..boredom strikes.

Your lips are so sexy _